User Onboarding Starts With Your Headline: A Framework for Writing Copy That Converts
People can't remember what they can't visualize.
If you're like me, you probably spend way too much time on Product Hunt looking for cool new AI & SaaS tools. It's like playing a treasure hunt - you never know what exciting new app you're gonna get.
But here's something that drives me crazy: I click on these new task management apps, excited to see what they do, and boom - I'm hit with headlines like "AI-powered productivity apps“ or “AI Revolutionary tool.”
Wait, what?
If you think user onboarding starts when users sign up for your product, you're missing a crucial truth: it begins the moment someone lands on your page (see my Canva and Loom case study). And as someone who's probably clicked on hundreds of AI tools this year alone, I can tell you that your headline is make-or-break.
Studies show that 80% of visitors read headline copy, but only 20% read the rest. This means your headline isn't just your first impression—it's often your only chance to convince visitors to learn more about your product.
Think about it: When you're scrolling through Product Hunt looking for the next game-changing AI tool, you make split-second decisions based on headlines. If I can't understand what your product does in 3-5 seconds I'm already clicking away to the next shiny AI tool.
As advertising legend David Ogilvy famously said:
“When you have written your headline, you have spent eighty cents out of your dollar.”
Think of your headline like a store window at a busy mall. The best displays don't just say "We sell clothes"—they showcase specific items, styles, and benefits that make shoppers stop and think, "This is exactly what I need."
However, the problem is that many SaaS headlines fail on this.
Tell me, how many times have you visited a SaaS website and left thinking, "I still have no idea what they actually do"?
You're not alone. Most SaaS headlines fail because they:
Use vague, buzzword-filled language
Focus on features instead of outcomes
Try to appeal to everyone (and end up appealing to no one)
The result?
High bounce rates, low conversions, and wasted marketing dollars.
How do you create a headline that actually converts?
Harry Dry, founder of Marketing Examples, has developed a powerful framework for testing headlines that drive conversions. I've adapted his approach specifically for SaaS companies, turning it into three essential questions that will change how you write headlines.
Let's dive in!
1. Can I visualize it?
Strong copy is not about flowery words or clever phrases. It's about creating such a vivid picture in your prospect's mind that they can taste, smell, and feel what you're selling." - Gary Halbert.
This first question forces you into a moment of clarity.
Think about it: people can't remember what they can't visualize.
When Netflix says "Watch anywhere," you can picture yourself watching shows on different devices. That's visualization at work.
Ask this question as a test:
“Can I visualize what the product does in 30 seconds?”
Here's how to nail it:
Describe user actions
❌ Bad: “Simplify your workflow”
✅ Good: “Drag emails to kanban boards to create instant tasks”
Why it works: You can picture yourself dragging and dropping.
Show product features in action
❌ Bad: “AI-powered productivity tool”
✅ Good: “AI reads your meetings and creates action items in real-time”
Why it works: You can visualize the AI working for you.
Paint the end result
❌ Bad: “Better team collaboration”
✅ Good: “Turn 30-minute meetings into 5-minute video updates”
Why it works: The time savings is instantly clear.
The best headlines paint a picture so clear that users can't help but see themselves using your product. When writing your headline, focus on the actual experience—what users will do, see, and achieve. If someone has to ask "how does it work?" your headline needs more clarity.
2. Can I falsify it?
"If it can be measured, it can be improved." - David Ogilvy.
Our brains are natural skeptics. When we see a claim, we immediately try to verify it. Use this to your advantage by making claims that users can verify quickly.
Ask yourself this:
"Can someone prove me wrong about this claim within 5 minutes of using the product?"
Here's how to get it right:
Make measurable claims
❌ Bad: "The best email tool"
✅ Good: "Reply to emails 2x faster"
Why it works: Users can time themselves and verify.
Use countable results
❌ Bad: "Makes work easier"
✅ Good: "Automate 80% of your data entry tasks"
Why it works: Users can count automated vs manual tasks.
Provide verifiable timeframes
❌ Bad: "Revolutionary AI platform"
✅ Good: "Get meeting summaries in 30 seconds"
Why it works: Users can verify the timing and accuracy.
When your headline makes verifiable claims, you're not just writing copy—you're making a promise you can keep. The more specific and measurable your claim, the more likely users are to trust you. Remember: in a world of marketing hype, provable claims stand out.
3. Can nobody else say it?
"In a world where everyone is overexposed, the coolest thing you can do is maintain your mystery." - Leo Burnett.
This final question forces you to focus on what makes your product truly unique. Because let's face it - anyone can claim to be "innovative" or "AI-powered."
Ask yourself this:
"If I remove my brand name, could my top 3 competitors use this headline?"
Here's how to stand out:
Name specific capabilities
❌ Bad: “The best CRM for small business”
✅ Good: “Send emails that change content based on open time”
Why it works: Highlights a unique feature competitors don't have.
Show unique integration
❌ Bad: “The best project management tool for startups”
✅ Good: “Convert Slack emoji reactions into task assignments”
Why it works: Specifies a unique workflow.
Give exact numbers
❌ Bad: “AI-powered customer support solution”
✅ Good: “Get support answers in 13 seconds using your past solutions”
Your unique value proposition is your most powerful asset. Don't be afraid to be specific about what makes you different. The more precisely you can name your unique capability, the harder it becomes for competitors to copy your message. In SaaS, the riches are in the niches.
Real-World Examples: How top SaaS companies write headlines that convert
Let's analyze 10 high-converting headlines and break down exactly why they work. For each example, we'll look at how they apply our framework and what specific techniques make them effective.
1. Granola
Why it works:
Targets a specific audience pain (back-to-back meetings)
Shows clear use case (AI note-taking)
Uses relatable situation (meeting overwhelm)
Lesson: Name your exact user's daily situation, not just their role.
2. Lemlist
Why it works:
Claims unique market position ("the only")
Addresses two core metrics (deliverability + replies)
Speaks to primary fears (emails not reaching or getting responses)
Lesson: Combine your unique feature with the end result users actually want.
3. Jobright AI
Why it works:
Addresses emotional pain (loneliness in job hunting)
Offers clear solution (AI Copilot)
Uses "No More" to signal end of frustration
Lesson: Address emotional pains before introducing technical solutions.
4. Glitter AI
Why it works:
Uses active verb ("Turn")
Shows clear transformation (process → guide)
Promises universality ("any process")
Lesson: Focus on the transformation your product enables.
5. Clay
Why it works:
Solves apparent contradiction (scale + personalization)
Names specific method (data enrichment)
Targets clear business need (scaling outreach)
Lesson: Show how you solve problem that look like an impossible trade-offs.
6. Audiopen
Why it works:
Shows clear transformation (fuzzy → clear)
Emphasizes speed (Fast)
Uses casual, relatable language
Lesson: Frame your product as a journey from pain point to solution, using simple words that resonate.
7. Fathom Analytics
Why it works:
Clear competitor positioning (vs Google)
Names key differentiators (simple, privacy)
Addresses market frustrations (complexity, privacy concerns)
Lesson: When competing with a giant, directly state how you're different and better for your specific audience.
8. Supabase
Why it works:
Speaks developer language (build, scale)
Shows immediate value (weekend)
Promises long-term potential (millions)
Lesson: Match your language to your audience's aspirations - both immediate and long-term.
9. Superhuman
Why it works:
Quantifies exact benefit (4 hours)
Makes it personal (per person)
Shows recurring value (every week)
Lesson: Put a number on your value proposition whenever possible - it makes abstract benefits concrete.
10. Smartlead
Why it works:
Focuses on ultimate goal (revenue)
Addresses key pain (consistency)
Shows complete transformation (cold emails → revenue)
Lesson: Focus on the end business outcome rather than intermediate metrics - speak to what decision-makers really care about.
What these headlines teach us about SaaS messaging
After analyzing these successful headlines, one truth becomes clear: effective SaaS headlines aren't about clever wordplay. They're about creating instant understanding and desire.
Here's what the best headlines consistently do:
1. They're ruthlessly clear
The best SaaS companies don't hide behind jargon or buzzwords. They use simple language that their grandmother could understand. They don't say "leverage AI-powered solutions"—they say "get meeting summaries in 30 seconds."
2. They make specific promises
Notice how none of these headlines make vague claims. They don't promise to "improve productivity." Instead, they promise to "save 4 hours per week" or "turn 30-minute meetings into 5-minute updates."
3. They show unique value
The best headlines aren't just clear and specific—they're unique to the product. They highlight capabilities and combinations that competitors can't easily copy.
Your Next Steps
Before you publish your next headline, run it through these quick checks:
Can a busy person understand it in 5 seconds?
Does it make a specific, measurable promise?
Would it still work if you removed your brand name?
Could your competitors say the exact same thing?
Remember: Your headline isn't just copy—it's the first deal you make between your product and your future users. Make it count.
Your headline is the first step in your user's journey. Make sure it's a step in the right direction.
Until next week! 👋
Great examples... At the beginning of my career, I never paid attention to headlines because I thought they weren't really important. 😅 Now I often spend more time on the headline design than on other things.
One thing that really makes a difference when creating headlines is, if you can mention a large number, always include it. Numbers attract attention.